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Another friend is about to marry the short, bald banker with absolutely no ‘online dating’ message-type chat she met at a party.As a 5ft 9in glamorous cocktail type who says she hates bankers, she freely admits she’d have swiped right past him on Tinder or blocked him on Match – and he may well have done the same.It seems unavoidable that if we have filters and tick-boxes for features and likes or dislikes, we could be cutting off literally thousands of potential suitors because of something we might have thought minor or irrelevant if we met in the flesh.And, by the way, the tick-box that chooses whether you’re shown people with children or not can have an even more dramatic result, with 90% of the people I asked (a straw poll of 10 in the office) saying they’d chosen not to be shown people with children.Yet many friends of mine who had previously ruled out anyone with children on a dating site are now happily dating (or married to) single parents they met in real life.With judgemental tick-boxes they would have filtered out the very person they are in love with now.And there’s no sense in ruling someone out for reasons that may become insignificant once you’ve met in real life.‘Only show me people without children’ ‘Only show me men over 6ft 1in’ ‘Only show me vegetarians’ ‘Only show me people who don’t want kids’ The tick-boxes on many dating sites are a common part of the structure of the sites – and people often fill them in and make their choices quickly, based on in-the-moment gut feeling, prejudice or a past bad experience.
But size isn’t everything – as anyone who has just wrapped up a three-hour swiping session on Tinder will attest.However, they do have a live help service at their homepage to talk you through joining.Pros: Uses compatibility testing to match you with someone who shares the same worldview as you.A one step Facebook log-in process leads on to a few simple questions (the most obvious – height, kids, whether you drink or smoke), a description and a photo – then you are in. To use the site fully – sending unlimited messages to other members – payment is required.You can browse a selection of pictures and ages before logging in, anything more specific requires you to become a member. As with many free or low-cost sites, ads can be frequent and feel spammy.
The price and process mean only the dedicated remain – but equally, can lead to people dropping out mid-process.