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Rebound and affair relationships frequently have rescue fantasies attached to them, these fantasies can be overpowering and cloud your vision.
Sometimes relationships that start as affairs serve as an escape from difficult interpersonal dynamics in the primary relationship.
Succumbing to the fantasy that the new relationship will be free of conflict or other emotional difficulties can be a setup for another failed relationship.
We tend to repeat patterns over and over until we come to understand ourselves.
(For an update on this statistic go to “Can Relationships That Start as Affairs Succeed?
Revisited”) But a statistic is just that, and doesn’t tell you anything about your own individual situation.
The question of whether the new relationship will succeed relates to what function it is playing in your relationship with your current partner.
Losing a long-term partner, even if things feel bad, is still a loss and needs to be grieved.Feeling torn between two lovers can be an agonizing experience.Besides the guilt, and fear of discovery, you also know that sooner or later you will have to lose someone you love or have loved.You face going from the bliss of secrecy into a tailspin of conflict with many people at once.Of course, you face this once the affair is disclosed, no matter who you end up with, but it is less awful if you are attempting to repair the damage with your primary partner.