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Since I myself hadn’t even known ethical non-monogamy was a until it fell into my lap, I think we need to do a lot more to become visible to the general public. I found it difficult to convince my friends and family, who love and trust me, that I was here of my own free will and that I felt safe and loved and was not being oppressed by my own relationship. It’s tough sometimes, to put personal stories out there for public scrutiny (even anonymously), but it was the personal stories of others that really helped me, so I am grateful for your support and encouragement.Thank you all for reading and responding to my stories. It’s the same stuff, but with a primary tumblr account so I can do more things (like reply to asks! Please follow my new account and send all asks and messages there instead of here. This is starting to feel really restrictive, as I can’t follow anyone back from here (and I’m not “out” as polyamorous on my primary blog, so I can’t follow/reblog poly blogs from there either), and a few people have sent me messages where I’m not sure if it would be appropriate to reply in public. Or is the only solution starting a new primary blog from scratch, with 0 posts, 0 followers, and 0 reblogs?)I With Illinois poised to become the 15th US state to allow same-sex marriage, I think this is a great idea.when i fell in love in polyamory my fear became ten fold, i relived every moment that i was abandoned as a kid, i was constantly preparing myself to be left or to be replaced.i went to through years of therapy, i went to support groups, i wrote, i read the ethical slut 3 times; i cried, i talked to other poly folks because i thought i was fucked up.for some us, like myself it becomes intensified and it gets harder to avoid the trauma that we grew up with.
honestly those thoughts really swept my mind frequently.
i learned about better boundaries, how to work through my jealousy, ways that i acted possessively and most importantly i became aware of how fear can turn into controlling fucked up behavior. i fucked up a lot in polyamory and i remember fucking up a shit ton more when i was afraid.
i wasn’t getting my needs met often either which intensified my fear.
Each one kept going "I don’t want you dating someone else” and she told them that if they loved her they’d do it.
Heck, I’d pay for the option to convert to a primary blog if it were available (hey Tumblr staff, listen up!